I was sitting at home, sick, no energy to do anything. I realized I hadn’t posted art in 8 days. School exams were crushing me. My sleep schedule was destroyed after coming home at 4am from Disneyland when I usually sleep at 8pm. I had to skip the gym for the first time in 3 months.

I panicked. The thought hit me that if I don’t get back on the grind, I’ll have to go back to my old life. The life of uncertainty about my future and being forced to look for a job I don’t care about.

But then something weird happened. Even though I wasn’t drawing, I was still going to the gym. Still writing my weekly newsletter. Still showering and flossing my teeth every day. The things I thought were all going to crumble didn’t crumble.

That’s when I realized what backsliding actually shows you.

Most artists treat backsliding like failure

The common advice says to lower the bar temporarily when life gets busy. Do 15 to 30 minutes of sketching instead of your normal routine. Just keep the streak alive. Never let the momentum die.

I used to believe that too. I thought being a serious artist meant never missing a day of drawing. Showing up every single day no matter what. Successful artists are so locked in that they never really stop drawing. They’re always in that groove.

When I posted consistently through October and November and then December came and art stopped being a priority, I thought I was failing. I kept blaming school for ruining my maker time. I said if I get interrupted then everything is ruined and I can’t draw.

The panic made everything worse. My self esteem went down like a rollercoaster. The thought kept repeating that if I get out of the drawing groove, I’ll fall down the procrastination hole again and never return to the same rhythm.

Here’s what that panic actually costs you

When you panic about backsliding, you turn it into a crisis. Drawing becomes an obligation loaded with stakes instead of something you want to do. The fear doesn’t help you draw. It helps you escape into cheap sources of satisfaction like YouTube and games.

I tried pushing through before and it didn’t work because I was fighting against myself. Trying to force habits that weren’t actually part of my identity yet.

But here’s what I noticed during these 8 days. My comfort zone had actually moved up. Two years ago when life got hard, I would chat with friends on Discord all day while playing games and watching YouTube. I’d shower every 2 to 3 days and not even floss my teeth. That was my baseline.

Now when life gets hard, I still go to the gym. Still write my newsletter. Still shower every day because I actually like it now. Still brush and floss because I’m used to it. The only thing that fell off was drawing and posting consistently.

That’s not failure. That’s data.

Backsliding reveals what’s actually built into your identity

When I first started posting as Venkaris, I managed to post for a couple months. Then I quit for a while. I stopped all online activity and focused on planning my website and going through an anatomy course. That built the foundation for where I’m at right now.

Right now the studies I post do really well. Before that down period, it looked like wasted time. But I was actually shifting my priorities to build a better foundation. Without that break to create my website and start my blog, my foundation would be feeble.

Your real self comes out during down periods. That’s where you see what’s actually left after a storm passes. The habits that survive the backslide are the ones that are actually part of you now. The ones that fall off first are the ones you’re still forcing.

This is actually progress, just like a wave that needs to pull back to gather strength. Each time you backslide, your baseline gets higher. You’re not losing everything. You’re testing what’s real.

What to do the next time you start slipping

First, stop panicking. Backsliding is a normal phase you have to go through. It’s not destroying your progress. It’s revealing what’s actually built into your identity versus what you’re just forcing.

Second, pay attention to what sticks and what falls off first. This is your data about which habits need more work to become part of your identity. For me right now, drawing needs more work. If I can learn to enjoy it so much that my day feels wrong without it, if I understand the value it brings me, I’ll want to do it even in bad times.

Third, protect the basics even when everything else falls apart. Those basics are what proves your baseline moved up. They’re what you’ll rebuild from. If you let everything slip, you’re starting from nothing instead of starting from something.

The goal isn’t to never backslide. The goal is to make sure each time you do, your comfort zone baseline is higher than before. You’re still that person who goes to the gym. That person who writes a weekly newsletter. That person who takes care of their body. Eventually you become that person who really likes drawing every day.

Then when you’re ready to bounce back, you start from that higher baseline and build even further. That’s how the cycle works.