This Tuesday I didn’t draw at all. I spent the day doing chores, watching YouTube and scrolling Twitter. I knew I needed to post something to keep up the momentum, but I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and work on a new study. It felt terrible, and I was confused why my motivation suddenly vanished.
I thought there was something wrong with me, but turns out this is just the natural movement of the structure I’m living in.
The cycle of problem-solving
Later that day, while reading “The Path of Least Resistance” by Robert Fritz, I finally found the words that describe my situation perfectly: “Problem solving is taking action to have something go away — the problem. Creating is taking action to have something come into being — the creation.”
My motivation for drawing was to escape the guilt of not posting and falling behind. I was taking action to relieve the pressure. But true creation is completely different, it’s taking action to bring something entirely new into existence.
I am standing in the middle of a metaphorical room with two rubber bands wrapped around my waist. One is pulling me towards what I want (money, skill and stability) and the other is pulling me back toward my worst case scenario (having to get a boring job). The harder I push myself towards what I want, the less tension that front rubber band has. Meanwhile, the band pulling me back toward my fears only gets stronger, until it inevitably snaps me back.
The only way out of this is to shift from problem-solving to creating. And for that you need a vision of what you want to create. When you have a clear vision, it’s like standing in the same room with two bands, but moving sideways instead. You’re no longer oscillating between them, you’re moving in a direction they weren’t designed to stop.
Concept and vision are different
For a long time, I had been living with a concept of becoming a great artist. But there is an important distinction. A concept is a fuzzy idea, a vision is sharp, concrete and detailed.
If you’re living with a fuzzy concept of success, you won’t even realize you have it once you get there. Without a concrete vision there is no tangible gap between where you are right now and where you want to be.
I didn’t truly understand what I want to achieve until I started going though a special assignment back in September. It was 90 days of contemplations and visualizations of my future. I had to imagine vividly what my life would look like 1 to 20 years from now if everything went exactly to plan.
At first it was a fun exercise, by day 30 it turned into a chore. I didn’t feel like it was actually doing anything for me. But now, in retrospect, I realize that it was basically the only thing keeping my drawing habit afloat. It led to the huge breakthrough in October, where I got my first viral study post. For the next 60 days I was doing the same exercises every day, that made me draw more and more.
Once the assignment ended, I stopped feeling that tension. I gradually forgot about the gap between where I am and where I want to be. I still knew kind of where I’m going, but the vision started to become fuzzy again. That eventually led to my drawing habit becoming more sporadic, like it is right now.
How you can build your vision
To build an authentic vision start by asking yourself why you actually draw. And then ask again. And again. Ask yourself “But why do I do that?” seven times.
Here’s how it looks like in practice:
- Why do I like to draw? Because I like sharing my art with other people.
- Why do I like sharing art? Because this way I feel like a part of a community.
- Why is it important to be part of a community? Because that’s the best way for me to feel like part of society.
- Why is it important to feel like a part of society? (Keep asking until you get to 7…)
When you answer the 7th question, that’s the core reason of why you’re an artist. Take that reason and build a world out of it. Imagine you’ve been doing this for 20 years and have become the most successful version of yourself. What does your life look like?
Even if it seems unrealistic and unattainable, that’s what you want. It’s never wrong to tell yourself the truth about what you want. Give yourself 10 minutes every day to close your eyes and visualize that exact future in 4K.
Treat your life like an artwork. You have the freedom to create whatever life you want for yourself, but to do it well you need to know what you actually want.
